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The more we talked about our future, the more afraid I became that I might not be his perfect life partner.

I kept on worrying about whether I could satisfy his friends or parents’ expectations of a “good woman.” My fears were not the only reason we parted ways, but they were certainly a factor.

Maybe this “me” comes out when I meet a guy who makes me relax, and I don’t have to think too much about what he thinks about me.

Maybe I was finally enjoying a moment of repose, showing who I really am, in a safe space free from conventional definitions of gender roles.

And I look forward to meeting the next man who will help me learn more about who I truly am.Here are some things I heard from my ex’s: “Why do you have so many male friends? But the same guys would get angry when their own girlfriends tried to drink more than one can of beer.” “Do you really have to go to all those social gatherings? They wanted to date a girl who was smart and independent enough to handle her own life, but also dependent enough to respect when faced with difficulties.You can see this contradictory expectation in female heroines of many K-dramas.The beautiful female protagonist is independent and savvy at her office, but in front of a guy she likes, she’s one step behind, submissive and gentle.

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