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Or to take a magical ride on Jane’s Carousel, or reserve a table at that new restaurant, or hit the concert they’ve been wanting to see. Maybe you ask to be set up with a friend of a friend. Again, I tip my hat to you, but this is increasingly not how it works here. When a couple in a different city recounts the story of how they met, they would often rather lie and tell you it was in a strip club than suffer e-shame. After you’ve gone to the bars, and sent all the PMs, and swiped to the right on anyone who isn’t in a picture with their mom or a tiger (it happens! Or did you not shave your legs/chest in an attempt to behave, but now you’re screwed because they’re hot and smart and you’re going home with them anyway? If it goes well, have you packed your tiny overnight toothbrush in the event of a sleepover?

If they offer to meet you at a spot in your neighborhood, even better! (This never happened.) Thinning the herd can also mean dumping the rugby-playing med student because he was super available and attentive. These are just a small fraction of the things that enter into your mind. And you have to figure out how to get yourself there. Does waiting at the bar with a drink make you look totally chill, or like a raging alcoholic?My many relationships have fallen somewhere between a string of not-so-great first dates and being in love.I've enjoyed the fun aspects of being with a partner without being tied down to one person emotionally.

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