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But there has been a shift and now the men aren’t there.Where I live it’s hard to find someone cultured unless they’re eating yoghurt, and the men my age all seem to be — well — more than a little overweight.’ Having been matchmaking single men and women for Femail’s Blind Date column for the past six months, I’d like to say Jane’s experiences are the exception, — but what has struck me is just how many attractive women apply who seem to have so much going for them.They want someone to look after them, while their female counterparts are looking for someone to explore the world and have fun with.Jane was told by one relationship coach that women her age should go for men 15 years older, making her current dating goal a man aged 63.According to Jo Hemmings, a behavioural psychologist and dating coach, there are an estimated seven new women for every man on the dating scene in the 40-55 age group, so availability is clearly a big issue.‘I’ve had clients coming to me wondering: “Am I asking too much to find an attractive, independent, solvent guy of my age? As she explains, part of the issue is that when divorce strikes, men and women react in different ways.Men’s relationships frequently overlap; they won’t leave one partner until they find another, so they are never really single.Men, indoctrinated over generations to pursue younger women, are instinctively reluctant to consider those of a similar age to their own, even ones who look youthful and attractive.

Yet as Jane, from Sheffield, explains, it has been a struggle: ‘The men out there are delusional.They are in great physical shape, living full and interesting lives.Yet finding suitable men for them to date seems to be a heroic challenge.Online dating coach Suzie Parkus, of meetyourmatch.club, observes: ‘A man who has aged well, has a good outlook on life, a joie de vivre about him and who has seemingly done well for himself is very attractive to his peers.However, for the most part he is drawn to younger, sexier, more vibrant models.‘It has a lot to do with his self-perception in terms of being able to choose who and what he wants in a partner because he has the right to, given that he is in high demand.’While good-looking men can pick and choose, attractive women such as Jane effectively become the victims of their drive to remain active and youthful.

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