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Cover with clingfilm and chill in the fridge for a minimum of 4 hours, or overnight, until the mousse is firm.7 To serve, carefully remove from the tin and set on a flat plate.

Dust the top with cocoa powder and pile raspberries and blueberries into the centre of the mousse cake.

If you have a PHT degree (Putting Honey Through), you might be entitled to some reimbursement for the cost of his tuition. Your attorney may give you legal advice, but all of the decisions are ultimately up to you. Try to be as dispassionate and businesslike as possible. Going through a divorce can sometimes make you feel like the captain of a leaky boat on stormy seas—there seems to be a new crisis at every turn.

View your attorney as a paid professional rather than a friend or confidante. Women tend to be supportive and sensitive to the needs of others, to build bridges, and to “make nice.” These tendencies often get in our way during divorce. You have to insist on getting what you need and deserve. If you don’t, you’ll still be able to take care of yourself financially. Use this time of upheaval to start taking control of your life.

Money previously used to support one household must now stretch to support two. Divorce is a long, complicated process that requires careful preparation.

If you are contemplating divorce, now is the time to begin amassing the funds you’ll need to stay afloat. Before you jump in head first, consult with legal and financial professionals and read books about the subject.

Copies of your spouse’s business records can be a treasure map showing you where the hidden assets are buried. Even if you don’t want an asset, it can be used to trade for something you do want.

Don’t overlook hobbies or side businesses that might have expensive equipment or generate income. And, if there’s a chance that your past joint tax returns omitted income or overstated deductions, you may want to seek an indemnification clause to protect yourself if the IRS decides to audit. Also, taking an active role in the negotiations will help you to reach a better settlement than “letting the attorneys handle it.” You will have less conflict and litigation after the divorce, better compliance from your ex, and better sharing of information about the children. During this trying time, it’s easy to confuse your feelings with the facts.

During divorce, many women are concerned about financial survival—and with good reason.

Studies show that in the first year after divorce, the wife’s standard of living may drop almost 27 percent while the husband’s may increase by as much as 10 percent.

Also, try to get a lump-sum whenever possible so you control the cash. If the divorce lasts for years and you lose all of your money? After divorce, you will probably need to figure out a way to support yourself and your children.

Listen to your attorney, but make your own decisions. During divorce, prepare yourself mentally for the worst that can happen. If your ex remarries within two weeks, moves to Tahiti, and/or refuses to pay any support? Divorce is an excellent time to get some career counseling at the local job center, university, or community college. Divorce can be very complicated, so don’t try to do it all yourself.

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