Dating for the first time after divorce
Three: Release Expectations and View Each Encounter as a Lesson This is a big one. If you enter each date excepting a positive experience, you will be disappointed at least some of the time.If you approach the meeting as a lesson, you will never be let down and you will gain valuable (or at least interesting) information in the meantime.♦◊♦Four: Be True to Yourself The period after divorce is a vulnerable time.Move slowly enough that you can appreciate each step and acclimate along the way.This was a lesson that I learned from my current beau of 2 years.You may be surprised to realize that there are aspects of your ex that you want again or perhaps characteristics that were not important before but are now.For me, my ex was never a match for me physically (I’m not talking about intimacy here; we were an excellent match in the bedroom).It’s exciting and it feels so good to have that feeling reawaken after you may have been fearing its death. Be open and willing to investigate these new alternatives.
Join a class, sign up for (I swear most of the people I met on Meetups were divorced! You don’t have to keep all of your powerful emotions hidden from a date, but you also don’t want to flood him/her with them either. You get to meet new people and engage in new experiences.
I also wanted someone for whom fitness and exercise was a way of life, not just an opportunityto cinch in the belt a bit.
As you list your “must haves,” try not to censor them; your subconscious may know more about what you need than your rational mind does at this point.
Once you have your lists generated, keep them handy and allow them to be modified or updated as you date and meet new people. Try to enter every encounter with an open and curious mind, ready to receive the lessons to come.
They are not set in stone, but they are also not be ignored, especially if you find yourself in the biochemical throes of love lust. That insufferably cute and perfect couple at the park is either in the biochemical throws of lust or has another side to their relationship that you do not see. On some dates, you might learn about someone else, some you may learn about yourself, and yet others you may learn about the intricacies of being a private pilot for a billionaire (yup, true story there).